Your post reminds of the many many parallels between racism, various other bigotries, and misogyny. It's the exact same attitude towards PoC: that we don't know what we're talking about, that we hate white people if we complain about our treatment, our problems aren't that bad, we should get over it, we should show gratitude and stop complaining, our tone is wrong, and just as you said:

Stop making us feel bad!

It's like there's a script that the privileged just pull from to use against every group.