When I see young girls walking to school alone I do have to fight the urge to offer them a ride. I will sometimes ask if they’re okay or safe. A few years ago, a girl my niece knew and went to school with was abducted and killed. They found her body in an abandoned house that has since been torn down and turned into a memorial garden. Ive been affected by that forever. I worry for every little girl I see even though that kind of thing is rare.

Several years ago before little kids had mobile phones, a little girl came crying to my moms front porch. She was terrified there was a man following her and went to the only two people she thought she could trust, a couple of neighborhood women. We were strangers to her but she came to our door and asked us to take her home, which I did, making sure she got into her house safely. I worry about every little girl. I can’t help it.

I tell my other nieces and nephews to always question authority. Who is telling you something and why are they telling you whatever it is? You don’t have to be disobedient but you do have to ask. I teach them bodily autonomy by asking if they would like to be hugged or touched before I do it. I ask if I can have a hug. I don’t just grab them or force them to hug people they don’t want. When they say no, I respect the answer, which has the side effect of teaching them they have control over who touches them.

We have to teach them these things. Their safety is the priority not adults personal feelings. Not even my own.