Well see, that's just it. I don't know if there's a whole lot of that in the Black community because I only know how I'm treated, and what I've observed, but then I'm a middle aged woman (53) and most grown Black men do not seem to be ashamed to be seen speaking with me. They may be a bit friendlier and louder to women they think are attractive, but they don't mistreat me. .

Men my age, Black and white, seem okay about speaking to me, and are often courteous, and I honestly can't tell if its because they think I'm cute, or I live in a progressive midwestern bubble where people tend to be polite, or because I experience light skin privilege (colorism). It could be any one of those three things. I simply don't experience the world in the same the way the author described, and I'm not sure exactly what factors make my experiences different from hers. I ascribed the difference to community, but it really could be anything.

Young Black men are more likely to ignore me than offer abuse, (although most of them are formal and courteous, the way they would treat an older female relative) and as I said, I don't spend any time in the company of young white men. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm kinda surprised to discover that I don't even know any. I only interact with white men who are older than me or close to my own age, and they speak.