Okay, I read through the critiques and most of them are correct and echo my earlier critiques. More showing and less telling, but I am started to have ideas of the future of the story spark in my mind that are really intriguing so you're getting there. I mostly have a critiques about the style of writing which has also been covered by the other commenters. Pull up and review some of the oldAsimov and Clarke stories. They still managed to be technical and futuristic, but still felt like I was reading someone who grew up in my neighborhood.

You don't have to change your style for anyone (styles find their audience) but as a reader Im used to a smoother, less choppy, writing style. (One of your commenters said to save that style of writing for your action scenes.) I can follow the tech stuff okay, but that's not what captures my attention. It's the worldbuilding and you're doing fine with that.