I’m probably one of three black people in America who have never experienced this!! I must look especially untouchable or something because white people don’t even try it (I wish they would!!!) Maybe part of it is home training, where they learn just not to touch anyone, without permission, no matter what race someone is. I find the whole thing deeply puzzling, but then I’m a grown ass woman who doesn't stick her hands in people’s hair, no matter how curious I am. That’s the behavior of a small child, and even most of them know better.

But this is a great response, though. There’s no need to appear the aggressor at all, or for them to attach that label to you. just reach out and do the same to them. When it becomes a mutual event, maybe they will think twice before they try it with the next black person.