I came to the conclusion that American entertainment media was pretty much designed to make everyone who was not a straight white man hate themselves, so I wouldn't even beat myself up too much about adopting such attitudes. (I went through something similar when I was young, being ignorant of, and disregarding my own heritage as a Black woman.)

And to be honest, more than a few white men adopted self hatred as well (since that is a byproduct of not being considered masculine enough according to the rules of whiteness), and we can witness today what that byproduct has done to white women.