…y from my church, like many white people, wanted to be able to lead without learning how to follow. She will never learn how I make mac and cheese because she won’t return to the kitchen, again and again, do whatever is asked of her, stay quiet, stay patient, and learn. She will never be a good ally for the same reasons.
Exactly! You generally will not be given a recipe or be told what to do. You are expected to pay attention to what others are doing, along with whatever job you’ve been given. It’s a bonding experience.