Although I did not know it at the time, because I didn't have the vocabulary for it, I opted out when I was around 14. At that age, I made the conscious decision to decenter men by asking myself one crucial question: Why is having the attention of men considered much more important than attending to my own thoughts and feelings?

I didn't have the language for this at the time, but I'm glad to see other women getting on board. It was very disheartening to watch my girlfriends change, even at twelve and thirteen years old, and completely lose all sense, because they thought having the attention of boys was more important than self respect and friendship.

My point is that young girls make the decision to center procuring men’s attention before they even get to know themselves, and some of them never get to know themselves until its much too late, long after a life of abuse and degradation from the men they’ve worked so hard to appease all their lives.